new life

'i've been twisting and turning in space thats too small-

HELLO HELLO

haha well its been long. but i guess blogs are becoming pretty useless to me. i mean it used to be useful cause i had so many things going on in my brain, i'd have probably gone insane if i didnt record some of it down. and now everything seems simpler somehow? maybe i just dont have that many friends anymore, or that many subjects or something. hmph. or maybe i just dont think anymore. and anytime something unpleasant or complicated comes to mind i shove it away. maybe thats it.

darn i sound more confused now than i ever did. ha

but its not so bad. school and all. i mean i'm completely going with the flow. and prilaa's right, everythings not as exciting as i'd hoped. but of course its only really been like a month and half since school in acjc started for me? so maybe things will happen. PLEASE LORD LET THINGS HAPPEN.

i think i am fitting in alright with the class. i guess. i mean. its not bad? as in people haven come out and called me bitch or anything. not yet. i hope they dont ever. but my classmates are too nice a bunch. i wld think. either that or they just act it. but they seem nice. they do. quite definitely.

althought of course i cld start on the comment somebody made about me during the first week of school about my class hating me because i was so unsociable. that sorta did hurt and it made me really scared. cause thats not a good thing. and when you come to my age, you tend not to care if somebody is left out and stuff, cause i mean its really not your problem is it. and i was freaked out. and i kept telling myself i had mg girls, they'd help me right? but i guess i overreacted a little. and the class seems fine. they do. sorta. yeah.

i just sorta wish we were more bonded you know? so we can stop discussing secondary schools, or thinking it, that we'd be 1aa4? but i guess i do contribute to the segregation with all the "STUPID RIVERVALLEY KIDS" haha. but i like them. they're a funny bunch.

todays has been a useless day just like everyother. i wonder how i am gonna pull things together for the Alevels. i mean the Olevels just feels like so much of a fluke now. like it cant possible get better than that. and like it was god's way of saying he cares, but that he wont do it for me again, i'd have to help myself this time. i hope i dont sound like i am talking rubbish.

well i shall make a move, and possibly start on GP. another early morning for me tomorrow.