HEYHEYHEY

haha i have no idea why i am so happy, i just am. its just one of those moments where you forget about the O'levels, about how much out loser you are and just be dellusional about the state of your life. its a good moment to be at. i'm loving it. okay well now its gone.

just came home from KAP a little while back. i was thinking, that shld i ever go there asking for a job and they turn be down? its almost sue-able. cause i have spent so much money there they have to help me out in my time of need. its like some sort of responsibility they have towards me. i mean i went there on tuesday wednesday friday and today. and i am going back tomorrow and every other day of the week.

oh talking about saturday, which was yesterday, we went JC openhouse hopping. it was deeply depressing. i cant get in anywhere, only like CJC, and thats AFTER bonus points. so i think i have to head over to Pioneer for the first 3 months. its near my house, so its just convenient. meijin gina and claire said they'll consider. but we're all gonna put ACJC down as our first choice. i REALLY wanna go there. i just realised how much i really wanted to go there after the open house. its my school lah. what to do? i wont fit in anywhere else. i'm just so sure. maybe i just want it to be that way. maybe pioneer wld be my perfect school. i just sort of dont want it to be.

i think its really difficult being an indian in singapore. i mean i try not to think about it. you know, the fact that i'm indian, and different. but its just such a big part of me. its okay to be an indian if you hung out with indian people all the time. but i dont do that either. so i'm like sorta stuck in the middle. i'm like not indian enough, and i'm not non-indian enough either. its this sort of balance that i have achieved, which i personally, am fine with. its just the way people might react to it that bothers me.

oh dang. i even end up blogging bout my indianistic conflicts. it buggs me.

i guess i'll just have to work really hard and get 9 points. PLEASE let me get 9 points.

and i have realised i am a really random person. from KAP to JC to INDIANISM?

hahaha. i make me laugh